Project: Motherhood

My Favorite Movies of the Decade

2010-01-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

Writing this list was inspired by my blogging friend, Beth, who was the person who also inspired me to blog in the first place. (She actually blogs on a normal basis, though, which I have never been able to accomplish). She recently posted her list of the best movies of the decade, so I couldn't help thinking about what my list would look like.

While researching all of the movies that were released in the last ten years, I was amazed at how many I have never heard of and how many I know I've seen, but can't recall. And I was just overwhelmed by how many movies are created. So, I'm sure I missed some, but I am pleased with the ones I could remember.

I tend to like either unknown, independent films, or movies that end up winning awards. So, if there is anything you haven't heard of, check it out! These are incredible movies. And some I included because I thought they were the first of their kind.

So, here you go. My list of the best movies of the decade, in approximate order of when each was released.

Almost Famous
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Moulin Rouge
Amelie
A Beautiful Mind
Vanilla Sky
Punch-drunk Love
Lost in Translation
Adaptation
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Broken Flowers
Brick
Little Miss Sunshine
The Departed
The Descent (my favorite horror film. really intense)
Stranger Than Fiction
Dan in Real Life
Juno
Sweeny Todd
The Business of Being Born
In Bruges
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Revolutionary Road
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Watchmen
Where the Wild Things Are

A Ship Wreck in the Park

2009-11-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

We recently had a picnic (on one of the warmer days of Fall) at a nearby park. This park doesn't have a playground, but we found one anyway. A huge (and I mean HUGE) tree had fallen, exposing all the roots. Needless to say, Jude went on a climbing adventure, and the tree became his pirate ship. (The hole later became his bat cave).

Ruby couldn't quite climb this giant yet, but was content to play under the massive trunk. We had a blast. I would have killed to discover something like this when I was a kid! It was the best playground ever. No slide or swings necessary.

Signs that your children may be addicted to Scooby Doo...

2009-10-18T16:07:00.000-07:00

They refer to your van as the "mystery machine."

Every time they pick up a rock or stick outside, they hold it up and say, "It must be a clue!"

Their vocabulary now includes "zoinks," "jeenkies," and "jeepers."

They have begun to address you as "dude" and "man" instead of Momma or Dadda.

They are disappointed that your dog doesn't speak.

They run around the house, crouched low and starting with an in-place warm-up.

They often find monsters, ghosts, and zombies hiding around the house.

They refer to your dog's treats as "Scooby snacks."

Any time you are driving down a road at night or a road that has trees nearby, they say it's "creepy."

Needless to say, my two show all the signs...

A Son's Love

2009-06-15T17:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know this is a little Oedipus Rex-like, but Jude is only four! He doesn't think that way...so, it was just sweet and melted this mother's heart....

The other day, he hugged me and said,

"I love you, Momma. I wish we were married. And Dadda could find another Momma."

Who's the Boss?

2009-06-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

This line from Jude this morning just about sums it up...

He was upset with Ruby and I for some reason and said,

"This is my house! You're just visitors!"

That sounds about right....

Conversations with the Dog

2009-06-05T10:29:00.001-07:00

I am currently transribing what I hear from the next room. Jude is talking with Maggie, our dog.

Maggie, stop looking like that at me!

No drooling in the house, Maggie! That's the last time that I'm telling you! No drooling in the house!!

(After picking up a dog toy that was in Maggie's mouth) Yuck! I'm not taking any of this!!

The Magic of Sand

2009-05-23T19:38:00.000-07:00

Here are three reasons I am thrilled with my recent purchase of this adorable used sandbox:

Can you hear that? Can you? No! Niether can I. Because it's silence. No yelling, no whining, no crying....Pure and beautiful silence.

You see those little hands? Those adorable hands are so much more adorable in this photo because not one of them is hitting, grabbing, throwing, or tugging. Just plain and delightful digging.

And would you look at that! An unsolicited smile. What more could you ask for?

Why did I wait so long to get a sandbox?? And please God, let it last!!

A Family Portrait

2009-05-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

We were painting the other day and Jude was doing his usual painting of faces that he does lately. When he was finished, he proudly presented his work and pointed to each face, naming our family members one by one.

"That's me...and that's Dadda." (Interesting that Jude is so much bigger than Dadda and bigger than anyone in the painting, for that matter...) "Great job, Jude."

"There's you, Momma." "I see. Very nice, Jude."

"And that's Ruby there." "Oh, that was great that you didn't forget Ruby."

"And there's the turkey." (Without a moment of hesitation, as if it was perfectly normal for him to include the turkey, not our dog, Maggie, in our family portrait. A turkey that has never before been mentioned.)

"Turkey? Why is there a turkey in the picture, Jude?"

"Because I want a turkey for a pet." (In a tone like, "of course I want a turkey, didn't you know?")

Great. I'm not even going there right now.

So, there you have it. Our family tree apparently includes a turkey.

Big Brother Power

2009-05-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

Driving has not been fun time lately. Ruby tends to find something to complain about the entire time she's in the car. She wants her baby that she dropped (or threw). She wants the blanket for her baby. She wants me to stop. She wants me to go, go, go. She wants a tissue.

I had no idea how talented I was until now. Who knew I could drive and put a diaper on a baby doll at the same time? (It's better than listening to the screaming, believe me). I never knew these would be requirements for being a mom.

So, other than these complaints, there is the ever popular, "too tight!" or "stuck!" This means her car seat straps are too tight. And, according to her, they are always too tight. Probably because she leans forward with all her might.

So, one day, on the way home from picking up Jude at school, it begins:

"Too tight! Stuck! Stuck!"

"Ruby, it's not too tight. It's okay. We'll be home soon."

"Stuck! Stuck! Stuuuuuuuuck!!"

After a few times of this and much screaming, my response changes a bit:

"You're supposed to be stuck, Ruby! We're in the car!"

At this point, Jude decides to take over, thank goodness. He turns to Ruby and shakes his head, talking in a soothing, sad voice:

"Don't worry, Ruby. I'm stuck too."

And, I swear, that did it. Ruby was fine all the way home.

Big brothers some times have incredible powers.

Point and Laugh

2009-05-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

So, okay, I thought it was a pretty bad sign when my husband laughed at me in my little black pants, because apparently the thought of me looking "sexy" (his word, not mine), was comical to him.

But, I think this one is much worse...

Jude had a friend over for a play date the other day and I was leading them out to the back yard, when I turned around to find them laughing and pointing at me.

"What are you two laughing about?"

The laughing continues. And Jude points at my butt and says, "Your big butt is hanging out! Your big butt is hanging out!" They found this hilarious.

And I had to take a look. No, my pants weren't falling off or anything (which wouldn't be abnormal these days, with me wearing post-pregnancy clothing that is much too large for me now). I guess they just thought my butt was so big that it looks like it's sticking out.

Nice. Two four-year-olds find the size of my ass hilarious. Down right funny. Great. It's a good thing I'm not vain these days. It's a good thing I know these are just four-year-olds and I don't need to worry about what four-year-olds think about my butt. Right?

Signs of Empathy

2009-05-01T15:46:00.000-07:00

Jude pointed to a man on TV the other day and said, "What happened to that man's hair?!?"

I guess he had never noticed a bald man before. So, I proceeded to tell him that sometimes, when they get older, some men lose their hair and it never grows back.

This shocked him. "NEVER?" He seemed very disturbed by this thought.

Meanwhile, he was twirling his hair, a habit since he was a baby, a self-soothing tool. He thought for a moment and said,

"You mean, he'll never be able to twirl his hair again?...I want him to be able to twirl his hair!"

My sweet boy.

Collecting Evidence

2008-11-18T14:12:00.000-08:00

Evidence that Jude is crazy:

He went to the potty, came back pantless (as usual) and proceeded to run around in a circle yelling,

"I'm chasing my butt! I'm going to get you, butt!"

Evidence that he is a sweet boy:

While I was in the other room and he couldn't possibly have known I was listening in, he talked to Ruby while sharing a snack with her, saying,

"I like you. You're the best baby sister in the whole wide world."

Evidence that he hears to everything we say (especially when we don't want him to):

Whenever someone enters the room suddenly, he says:

"You scared the crap out of me!!"

Evidence that he knows how to lie:

After finding the stool pushed up to the counter and the box of cookies open and on the floor under the kitchen table, I asked Jude what he had done. He replied,

"I didn't eat cookies..."

The Best School on Earth

2008-10-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

I know most parents are probably happy with their children's school(s), but I am absolutely in love with Jude's preschool. It is almost like the school is my child; I cannot imagine that anyone else's school is better, just as any mother cannot believe there is a child more amazing than their own (except when they're having a toddler "moment," of course).

Jude's school is a cooperative, which is a big part of why it is so wonderful, I think. In case you don't know about cooperatives, let me fill you in. It really just means that we all work together (parents, teachers, and administration) to make the school the best it can be and that parents run the school. There is a board that is run by parents and all parents co-op some during each month.

Co-oping means that you go in and act as an assistant to the teachers all day. You clean, prepare snacks, help resolve conflicts, and play with the children. There are also clean-up weekends, where two families go in and do an intensive cleaning of the building. All parents also participate in fundraisers throughout the year and share their talents through lessons with the kids.

It sounds like a lot of work, and it is, but it is so worth it.

Right before school started, I participated in my first "work party," which is a day when parents come to do a deep cleaning of the school, since it was empty most of the summer. I came in to put in my three hours and found moms, dads, and grandparents dripping with sweat as they scrubbed on hands and knees, painted, sorted, and decorated.

During a break from cleaning out the upstairs storage closet, I paused while sipping some juice to look around, to really look at these parents. Wow. This wasn't just cleaning. This wasn't something we were being paid to do either. What were we all doing this for? Our kids. Our three and four-year-old kids. I actually teared up watching these parents work.

This was a beautiful sight. What better way to show how much we care about our children's education than to lovingly prepare their school space for them? There was no complaining going on here. There was pure dedication and passion. And excitement for our kids, that they would be entering into this space in a couple of days for, what would be for many of them, their first experience of school.

This love and dedication has continued through out these first couple of months. My life is extremely hectic and stressful right now for many reasons, but when I enter this building either to drop off Jude or to attend a meeting, it is almost a religious experience. My worries melt away for a moment and I am in something sacred. A truly amazing group of people who are giving my son so much, so much love and support and amazing experiences.

Every time a teacher or parent sees Jude, they immediately squat down so that they can look him in the eyes to greet him. It is almost like the adults are bowing down to the children; they recognize that the children are why we are here and show them sincere respect. They ask if they can have a handshake or a high five when he's leaving. And he never wants to leave, which is a great thing.

If nothing else is going exactly right at the moment, at least my son is part of the best school on earth. And I'm sure I'm not exaggerating. :)

Some photos of the work day:

Free At Last

2008-09-17T19:33:00.000-07:00

First of all, I apologize to my non-existent readers :) that I have been so absent the last few weeks. I have been putting a lot of time into another blog I have started with a fellow mom in the 'hood. You can check it out at: www.GermantownAvenueParents.com I've also just been busy with Jude starting school, me being VP of the local chapter of the Moms Club and just doing way too much all around.

So, Jude is officially in school! He has had a couple of short-lived experiences in school settings (like the month that I decided to go back to work at a day care with both kids and then realized I was having a mid-mothering crisis), but has never really gone to school regularly. Back in Florida, he went to a Mother's Morning Out program at a church, but that was only one morning a week. He goes to Sunday school at our church, but obviously that is only one morning as well.

He also attended summer camp this year for a month and that was the closest he has gotten to school. It was actually every morning and was at the school he is going to now with many of the same adults and children. It was a genius move on my part to put him in that summer camp (patting self on back). Since he is so familiar with the school, the grounds, and many of the people, there has literally been no adjustment time. He never hesitates to go to school. He is excited to go. I have to pry him out of a swing and drag him through the gravel or bribe him with some extravagant outing to get him to get in the car at the end of the day.

And, me, you ask? How am I handling it? All I can say, is: Free at last. I am free at last. Yes, I love my son. He's wonderful. But I need a break some times and so does he. These moms who are crying about their three-year-olds going off to school three mornings a week (as Jude is), come on! You know you're just kidding yourself! There has to be some small part of you wanting to celebrate!

Three hours, a few days a week, with only one child? I'll take it. Three hours, a few days a week, when I don't have to come up with new answers to the question, "Why?" Bring it on. Three hours, a few days a week, when someone else can try to convince him to eat the food even though it is "too hot" or "too cold" or "too colorful"? That sounds good to me. Three hours, a few days a week, when I can listen to the birds chirping from outside my window instead of the sound that usually scares them away, the screaching of a child yelling, "Momma, momma, momma, momma, moooooooommmmmmaaaaaa!!!!!"? Where do I sign up?

I'm sure I would feel differently if he was at all sad about school, but he's not. I'm sure he's tired of me some times too. Playing with a bunch of kids on a play ground has got to beat vying for my attention at home or trying to keep Ruby away from his trains. He's definitely ready. We're both ready.

What I do feel is pride. And happiness, for him. I was so excited about that first day, as if I was the one going to school. It was really exciting. The school he is going to is just so perfect and wonderful, I am genuinely, extremely excited for him and so, so proud of him. He's such a big kid now. My boy. In school. It just makes me feel all warm inside. And free. :)

Fair Food Diet

2008-08-26T12:57:00.000-07:00

So, I was going to go on a diet. And then this happened:

I went to Grange Fair in Central Pennsylvania, where they have row after row after ROW of stands like this with crazy, crazy food. It's like a secret world of food. Food you have never heard of before. Food that you can imagine a five-year-old dreaming up.

Fried vegetables. Fried pickles. What a way to get your veggies.

Rainbow-colored doughnuts and cookies.

And when you do get something normal, like an ice cream cone, it's like an ice cream cone on crack. HUGE. And the prices are crazy low. This cone was $2.

Fair brownie. The brownie is hidden under the ice cream, cool whip, and hot peanut butter sauce. The cool whip was higher, but I had to walk back to our tent before I could get to my camera, so it had started to deflate a bit.

A plain old funnel cake? Not at this fair. Try a funnel cake covered in any topping you can dream up. Srinkles, chocoate, M&M's.

Another new one for me: Monkey bread. I have no idea why they call it that, but it's really like a huge cinnamon roll, again with any toppings you could want.

More funnels cakes with a MOUNTAIN of stuff on top. The bottom row is your choice of chocolate covered bananas.

So, yeah, I was going to go on a diet. That was replaced by trying desperately to try every item I could in 2 1/2 days. It's a lot of work. Harder than you may think. You really have to pace yourself. There is a lot I didn't get to.

But, thank goodness, there is always next year. I will come prepared and with a very hungry, non-dieting tummy.

A Green Wish

2008-08-15T19:54:00.000-07:00

I was reading Jude a new book we got recently from the library. It's about a woodcutter who finds a fairy in the forest. He saves this fairy from a hawk that intends to eat him. So, in return, the fairy gives the woodcutter a gift: one wish.

When we got to this point in the story, I stopped to ask Jude the obvious, just to see what he would come up with:

If you had just one wish in the whole world, what would you wish for?

And he thought about it for a while and said, with a confident smile,

I would wish that all the things in my neighborhood were green.

What a nice, simple, sweet little boy wish. But somehow profound too. I really feel almost jealous of him sometimes, of that amazingly creative little mind he has. I feel like it really does get lost as the years go by. The enjoyment of simple things. And the power of the imagination. I'm just so grateful to have him reminding me of these things. How wonderful it would be if everything in our neighborhood was green.

Buttlerflies, Bird Houses, and Bells

2008-08-10T13:36:00.001-07:00

This weekend, we braved a day excursion with the family to Tyler Arboretum. We learned of several fun things you can do at the arboretum, that you may have never done before:

1. Make silly faces while sitting on a butterfly bench.

2. Climb a frog.

3. Hang out in a giant bird house.

4. Ring tree bells.

5. Get really close to some butterflies...

...and even closer.

So, at the end of our amazing, but tiring day at the arboretum, we packed up, hiked back up the hill and out to our van. We strapped the kids in, took a sigh of relief that the walking was over, and had to use a bit more energy to laugh as Jude's voice came from the back seat:

"Why did we go there?"

Play Date Waiver

2008-08-06T21:06:00.001-07:00

My house (namely my toddler) has become so dangerous, that I sometimes feel I need to hand out waivers when friends bring their children over, especially younger, sweeter children. So, what do you think about this? Seem fair?

Child's Name ____________________
Parent's Name _________________________

I, the undersigned, am the parent of the above named child/children and I agree, in visiting Jude's home for a play date, to release and hold harmless Jude and his entire family, from any and all claims, suits, and charges, in connection with or arising out of play time with Jude, including, but not limited to:

bodily harm or injury to my child(ren) caused by attacking dinosaurs, flying trains, or ramming machines; other harm caused by biting, hitting, throwing, pinching, kicking, jumping, pushing, spitting, lifting, or stomping and any hearing damage caused by unusually high levels of screaming or yelling. I understand that Jude does not favor "sharing" his toys and may react violently when one is taken, even if that person is an infant.

I also understand and accept that any socks, food, or plush toys that I choose to leave on the floor or on a low table surface may be taken by Jude's dog, Maggie, and subsequently slobbered on and/or destroyed.

I assume full responsibility for any cleaning bills ensued by the layer of white dog hairs that may appear on my clothing after visiting Jude's house and any dark spots left by dog slobber in the event that Maggie drinks and chooses to clean herself on my pants.

I do not expect Jude's house to be clean, orderly, or in any way "neat." I also realize that the kitchen is off limits unless I want to cause an avalanche of dishes.

I will not hold Jude's family responsible if this play date is in no way fun or productive and/or if I am not able to hear myself think and leave with a pounding head ache.

Signature of parent or guardian ________________________
Date ____________

A Weekend With Grand-Daddy

2008-08-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

My dad, or "Grand-Daddy" to the kids, came up from FL this weekend and we had a great time.
We had an evening picnic at the arboretum...

...where Jude showed off his climbing skills.

And Ruby showed off her modeling skills.

Jude sure does love his Grand-Daddy.

They watched the trains together (model trains on outdoor tracks).

And Ruby did a bit of flirting with Grand-Daddy.

And a bit of cuddling with me.

Jude picked a flower (I'm sure totally illegal at the arboretum, but it got a good smile out of him!)

After eating our picnic dinner, watching the trains, admiring the geese at the pond, and checking out the greehouse, it was time for a treat.

Jude wouldn't take bites of his popsicle. He would only lick it, so this took a very, very long time and sent quite a mess down his arm. But, another great photo opportunity.

An unusual instance of sharing.

On our second day, we visited a local play cafe and watched the kids having a great time with all the wooden toys.

And I finally got Jude a haircut. It was getting ridiculous. Ruby sat in this little pink car while we waited.

Definitely her style.

Back at home, Ruby chills out in her favorite chair.

Is this a cool kid, or what?

Those smiles kill me.

And, in Ruby language, this translates to "PICK ME UP!!!"

What a great weekend.

What great kids.

Kung Fu Panda Vs. "The List"

2008-07-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

So, Jude has a list of the foods he will eat. This was not my idea, mind you. Completely his. And, so, the list is not exactly what I would call a well-rounded, nutritious list of foods, as you can imagine.

Now, EVERY time he is hungry, he says, "What can I have that's on my list? I like: muffins, bananas, pizza, pasta, cookies, and M&M's. That's my list."

And he's serious, people. He will ONLY eat what is on his list. No amount of bribery, threats, rewards, punishments, or faces made out of food will work. He has a list and he is sticking to it.

Needless to say, this drives me crazy! I loathe, absolutely loathe, the whole feeding aspect of being a mom. It can drive you to the edge if you let it.

So, you can imagine my amazement at the following event that occurred last night: We were at Target. I grabbed some frozen meals out of desperation and noticed the obnoxious kid meals with Kung Fu Panda featured on the box. He LOVES Kung Fu Panda.

I asked him if he would eat these and he said yes, so even though he says yes all the time and changes his mind to a blood-curdling "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" later, I decided to buy them anyway. Little meals with divided sections, things like chicken nuggets, corn, mac and cheese and chocolate pudding with sprinkles.

I prepared one when we got home, completely expecting it to end up on the floor or in some one's hair as I listened to the list being screamed at me once again. But, a miracle happened. He ATE it. Not every bite, but at least a few bites of EVERY item. None of which are on his list really, except for the mac and cheese. He would usually NEVER touch meat, especially. And I have tried everything that was on his plate before. Many times. With no success.

So, tell me. Did he eat it simply because there was a stupid, fat bear on a box? Is this really the reason? Are you kidding me? Does that work on a kid this age already?

And, what is your parenting philosophy? Do you keep feeding him from his list until he hopefully grows out of it, to make sure he is at least eating? Maybe sneak some healthy ingredients into muffins, etc.?

Or do you withhold the list food and keep putting the healthy food in front of him until he caves? The only reason I haven't truly done this yet is because my husband is terrified that he won't eat enough. That a couple days of doing this will destroy crucial brain cells or something.

Or do I go against my desire to stay away from frozen, commercialized food and just keep feeding him these meals for now?

Any other ideas?? I don't want him to be eating Kung Fu Panda meals for the rest of his life! :)

Total Mom Haircut

2008-07-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Skip on over to Total Mom Haircut to see my guest post today. The site is by my friend, Beth, who is a fantastic writer and a great mom. She is the one who encouraged me to start this blog in the first place and continues to urge me on. I am honored to be on her blog and so proud to be her friend.

First Steps

2008-07-25T08:02:00.001-07:00

So, Ruby has taken her first steps! And guess what she was walking towards?

Her loving momma? No.

Her adoring dadda? Nope.

Her beloved older brother? Wrong again.

Maybe our big, soft dog, Maggie? Not even.

Perhaps a favorite toy, say a doll or stuffed animal? Good try, but, no.

The television? The sixth member of the family that is always on and shouting at us? That big, loud, colorful thing? Ding, ding, ding!!

Yes, Ruby took her first steps toward the TV!! Great. She chose the TV over her family members!

I'm doing a wonderful job as a mother, huh? I'm really living up to my hopes of keeping everything "natural."

Oh, well. I have to admit I love that thing too. I just have to learn to turn it off, cut the cord!

My Little Monkeys

2008-07-22T07:14:00.001-07:00

Jude loves to climb now. One of the many things he learned at summer camp.

My little tree hugger. I'm so proud. :)

Of course, now he climbs everything. And there's that motherly fear of him falling even though I climbed trees all the time as a kid.

Ruby is a little climber too. She climbs this play structure at a nearby indoor play space.
Again and again and again.
So proud of my two little monkeys.

Things I Did While Jude Was at Summer Camp...

2008-07-16T16:40:00.000-07:00

1. Vacuumed the coat of white dog hair that covers my house like a layer of cotton ball.
2. Washed one of the stacks of pots that lives on the stove.
3. Watched The View and marveled at how it is still on the air and somehow Whoopi is on it.
4. Went to a play date with only Ruby and experienced what it is like to talk to other moms without trying to keep a toddler from killing anyone at the same time.
5. Took Ruby to the doctor, JUST Ruby, and glowed while everyone raved over my perfectly sweet little baby, instead of apologizing for the behavior of my crazy 3 year old.
6. Wrote blog entries in the car while Ruby slept. :)

Water Ice Addiction

2008-06-17T15:46:00.000-07:00

So, I am not a life-long Philadelphian and am still getting used to all the Philly traditions. (We moved here almost a year ago.)

One part of Philly culture that I am finally embracing is the food. Everyone knows Philly is famous for the cheese steaks (which I actually am yet to experience really), but there are other foods that are especially loved here in Philly.

There are the pretzels. Not the small, crunchy ones. The big, soft, freshly baked ones. I mean, they don't just have the occasional soft pretzel at the theatre counter or the lone pretzel stand in the mall.

They have pretzel shops on main streets, almost entirely devoted to pretzels. Regular pretzels. Cinnamon and sugar pretzels. Chocolate pretzels. Pretzel dogs (which I highly recommend.) Pretzel breakfast sandwiches. Even pretzel pizza! (Not so good, though.)

And you can even take the kids to watch the pretzel maker effortlessly twirling and twisting the dough at an amazing speed as the next stripe of dough comes racing down the belt.

So, I always got the pretzel thing. I've always liked soft pretzels.

But one Philly food that I did not understand is water ice. I had never heard this term "water ice" before moving here. I still think it's a dumb name. Water ice. That sounds like water with ice to me. Ice water. Big deal.

So, in case you are as clueless about this as I was, water ice is actually flavored, colored, crushed ice. It's like what I would have called "Italian ice" or "shaved ice." Kind of like an Icee or Slushie too, but not thin enough to drink. You eat it with a spoon.

"Water ice" doesn't make much sense to me. Yes, it's ice, but not water really. It's really flavored ice.

So, anyway, besides it having a dumb name, I just never found something like water ice to be exciting. It's not very filling. It's not all that tasty. So, it's cold, colored, crushed ice. So what? A waste of my time. If I'm hot and I'm hungry, I can get ice cream. I'm more of a chocolate person than a fruit flavored one anyway.

So, I didn't often eat this "water ice" that so many Philadelphians partake in all summer long. Until someone mentioned the water ice at the pretzel place. They talked about it as if it was a miracle. I didn't even know the pretzel place had anything but pretzels.

So, okay. I'll try anything once. Any excuse to eat. I think my first was watermelon flavored.

OH MY GOD. Unbelievable. Like eating a fresh watermelon with a spoon. And the consistency! Heaven. Not too thick. Not too thin. Smooth as butta! No crunch at all. Just smooth, cold, and lovely.

And then began my obsession. Lemon was next. Amazing. Tart and wonderful. Seriously, these flavors are like jelly belly jelly beans. I don't know how they get so much flavor stuffed into ice!

And next I met my true love: Mango. I don't even like mangoes that much. But, this mango water ice. OH MY GOD. Pure genius.

So, now, I don't care what they call it. Water ice, fine. I just want it. Day and night. Sunny or storming. I am OBSESSED. I spend literally every day trying to think of excuses to drive past the pretzel place. I will drag my poor sleepy children out of the car just to go in and get my water ice.

And what in the world am I going to do when summer is over??? Because I'm pretty sure these places shut down during the cold months. How will I survive?? More reason to eat as much as possible now.

So, now I get it. I get the whole water ice thing. I am becoming more and more a Philly lover every day because of little things like this. Okay, now I have to figure out how to get some water ice, because all this writing about it is making me want it!

Little Black Pants

2008-06-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

So, this is when you know you have "let yourself go."

I had purchased some great clothing from a yard sale (one of my many addictions). I hit the jackpot when I found a pile of pretty cool clothing all in my size. A buck a piece! You can't go wrong with that.

So, one of these items I hesitated on, but ended up throwing on top of the pile to take home. A pair of pants. Kind of on the wild side, but just a bit. I would have snatched them up without a thought a few years ago.

They're black. They're stretchy. They have some glittery purple paint looking stuff spread across the front. And they're tight. Not crazy tight. But definitely not my normal shapeless, baggy, momma pants.

So, I finally gave them a try one weekend. It's the weekend, right? I'm still in my twenties, for goodness sakes. I can wear slightly tight black pants. Not a crime.

And they fit! A miracle. And felt pretty darn good, too. Clothing that fits. Go figure.

But I needed a second opinion to be safe before I unleashed my new self on the world.

So, I walk into the room where my husband, Jamie, is playing with Jude. And I do a little twirl and ask if they look okay.

And what does he do? He looks at me and LAUGHS. He actually laughs!!

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing. They're great. They're fine." But more muffled laughter.

"WHAT???"

"Nothing. Really."

I'm sorry, but if you are going to look at my butt and LAUGH, you are not going to get away with not telling me WHY you're LAUGHING at my ass!!

"WHAT??!!!??"

"Nothing. I just...You just look sexy, that's all. I guess I'm not used to you dressing like that anymore."

So, there you go. It is now to the point that when I look good, it's comical. Good to know.

The Chicken Dance

2008-06-02T17:50:00.001-07:00

Jude and Ruby dancing together to the "chicken dance" song.

Jude the Robot

2008-06-01T15:24:00.001-07:00

This is Jude's impression of a robot. And, yes, that is a trash can on his head. Not my idea.

Haiku Friday -- Two Kids in the Tub

2008-05-30T14:12:00.001-07:00

If this is a sign
Of what is to come one day,
Mine will make big waves.

Finding the "Happy" in Mother's Day

2008-05-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write this entry for days now, obviously, but I've just felt sick about it. But, I think it will help to release it all.

Mother's Day isn't a very happy day for me since my own mother passed away when I was 18. She suffered from depression and took her life shortly after I left for college.

So, now I'm the mother. But you can imagine how hard it is to enjoy this day that is now supposed to be for me. And it's still so hard to take on that role. Mother. It's a heavy word.

I've always been a taker, a very good child, the role of the taker. I like being nurtured. I was the baby in the family and I clung to that. I'm not good at offering to help clean up after a meal. I don't think about sending thoughtful cards when others might. I don't look forward to cooking chicken noodle soup for my husband when he's sick.

Instead, I want to be the one eating the soup someone else has made for me. I love that warm feeling you get inside when a mother figure is taking care of you. Nothing could be better, right? Blankets tucked under your chin. Steam floating across your face from the tea set down at your bed side table. Gentle "ssshhh"'s from childhood and warm rubs circling on your back.

I miss being the kid. That got cut kind of short for me and maybe that's why I'm stuck wanting to be back there. Sure, I was 18, but I was still a kid. You always need a mom. Everyone does.

So, this is where I am. I'm the mom. Mother. Wow. So, now it's my turn. If I can't receive that loving warmth any more, at least I can give it. I have two little miracles who love receiving it.

And it feels almost as good. Now I finally can begin to grasp how much my mother must have loved me. Because the love for a child is just so overpowering and she must have felt that like I do for mine. And that is a nice connection, to know that I'm feeling something she did for me.

Now I get it. Being the mom is just as warm and cozy, if not more. Giving love is just as good as getting it. Because I know how good it feels to be mothered. And it's wonderful to know my kids are feeling that and that I have the power to give that to them.

So, I'm not ready yet to put the "happy" in that Mother's Day sentence. And I'm not yet ready to celebrate the life of my mom. I will be some day, but not yet. But at least I'm ready for the "Mother" part. My part. I'm ready to be the best mother I can be and pour on the love. I'm ready to make the soup when I need to. And I'll do it happily.

Because I'm a mother. And I love being a mother.

Haiku Friday -- Ruby Saves Me

2008-04-25T10:37:00.000-07:00

In toddler war times
I have a Ruby savior --
Soft cheek surrenders.

The Driver's Seat

2008-04-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

After an unusually successful few hours at Ikea with the kids (you can never go to that place for a short time, can you? It sucks you in like a black hole!), I was encouraged and didn't want to go home. So, I decided to push my luck and go to Target.

At first, things were going generally well, but even well is hard, as you know. It's just very slooooow with a three year old walking the aisles. Ruby is, of course, an angel sitting in the cart and coos at everyone who will look at her. But, Jude does the typical toddler thing of picking up every item and asking to bring it home. So, shopping is a slow pattern of: step, step, "No," ,"No," "Ask before you touch," "We don't need that. We have some at home," "Look out," step, step.

So, we're doing this shopping dance, and we turn a corner and there's my worst nightmare. An unattended tricycle. Ba-ba-ba-boom. It's purple with Barbie and sparkles all over it, but, of course, Jude doesn't mind. "Look, look, a bike!!" So, he climbs on and starts riding this bike that someone should have left in the toy section where it BELONGS and which we were going to cleverly AVOID.

So, my mind is immediately trying to come up with ways to get him OFF the bike, but, suddenly, and who knows why, I think, "Why not?" Why not let him ride the thing and see what happens? My instinct is always to stop him. But, what harm will it do, really? And if he starts running over pedestrians, then I can intervene. This was a moment of pure genius.

Jude happily (and very skillfully, I might add) rode his girl bike all over Target for about an hour. At one point, another mom saw this and said, "Now, that's a great idea." And I had to admit, "It wasn't my idea. It was his." So, he didn't run anyone over or knock anything down. We didn't get frowned at by store-goers or employees (and if we had, who cares?) And he completely forgot about grabbing stuff; he was too busy steering.

What had begun as a very slow walk through the store became a race up and down the isles. Now the only hard part was grabbing items as I ran by, trying to make sure Jude didn't get my heels or escape my view. So, it would take about three times running through the dog food isle before I could really grab the bag I wanted.

First time: "Okay, okay, which one do I want....Lamb and rice, no..." Second: "Oh, oh, there it is, sensitive skin...if I could just...oh, well." Third time: "Okay, I know where it is, just reach...and...got it!"

And Jude was just so happy, turning down isles like a pro, yelling, "I'm doing it! I'm doing it! I knew this would work!"

So, this one moment gave birth to my new mothering philosophy: Give up the driver's seat and just let him be a kid already! He knows how to do it better than I do. As long as he's not killing anyone or endangering himself, why not? It makes things take longer and you do have to be patient, but we're both so much happier.

He seems like a different child. And I find if I just let him do something for a sufficient amount of time, I will say, "Okay, time to go now," and the impossible happens: He says "okay" and follows me!! It's a miracle.

I think we, as moms, especially in this time and society, are so concerned about being in control. We are constantly worrying about what other people think. We want everyone to know that we have control over our kids or that we are at least trying to. We're trying to prove something that we really don't need to prove.

So, okay, you are trying to control your kids. Good for you. But, your kid is screaming and you look like you haven't slept in days. But, good for you. At least you're trying.

I say, who cares what they think? Maybe if we just stop controlling so much, we'll find that our kids aren't the little devils we think they are sometimes. They're just KIDS, wanting, justifiably, to explore their world. How else will they learn about it? And no wonder they're going nuts all the time when all they hear is "no!"

I used to observe a mom-friend of mine allowing her son to do almost anything he wanted and think that she was either lazy or letting her child get away with too much. But, now I see that is not the case.

She is in no way a lazy person (her son happens to be a very lively kid, to say the least). She has just learned to pick her battles. She would have been institutionalized a long time ago if she tried to stop her son every time he tried to grab the phone or climb the sofa. If, however, he's going to potentially fall on another child, she stops him.

And he is a happy, healthy kid and she is a sane mother. I've also noticed how far ahead he is in some ways. Because she allows him to try things, he is able to do a lot more than many children his age. Maybe he almost destroyed the DVD player the first few times he tried to use it on his own, but now he can start a movie all by himself at two years old. (Maybe that can be perceived as not such a good thing, but I think it's great in a way).

So, I'm learning to choose my battles. If Jude doesn't get shot down too often, he's more likely to respect my decisions when I draw the line. The most important thing is for us to both be as happy as possible, as much in harmony as we can be. So, if he is the better "driver," maybe I need to take a back seat and just step in when a crash is imminent.

Haiku Friday -- Bath Time

2008-04-18T10:34:00.001-07:00

Black dirt crusted nails,
Pockets full of pine cone crumbs,
He stomps to the tub.

Aiming High

2008-04-07T05:07:00.000-07:00

We all have great expectations for our children, so it's always fun to learn what they want to be when they grow up, even if it is unrealistic or a desire that will change next week.

My son, Jude, has a friend who wants to be a fire fighter, for example. A normal and cute wish for a two and a half year old boy.

So, my husband, Jamie, and I were excited to hear what Jude had to say to that question:

"What do you want to be when you grow up, Jude?"

No hesitation at all, like he had decided this a while ago: "An old, fat man."

"A what?"

"An old, fat man."

Not just old, mind you, but FAT! Good job, Jude. Now there's a goal you can reach. Here's to aiming high! That's my boy!

I swear, he is a little version of Jamie. Jamie can't wait to be old. I'm not sure about fat, but as long he doesn't have to do anything, I'm sure it would be fine with him!

Well, at least we don't have to worry about paying for private schools if he's just going to be an old fat man! :)

My Newest Addition

2008-04-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, Dad. I'm not pregnant again. And, thankfully, this "baby" won't leave behind any stretch marks or unwanted pounds. And, hopefully, this creation will not one day morph into a defiant toddler who seems possessed by some ungodly being.

So, please help me welcome to the world, my very first official mommy blog: Project: Motherhood! I know, I'm way behind on this whole blogging thing. My first child is already turning three, for goodness sakes. I consider myself pretty computer and web savvy, but I just never caught on to the blogging scene. So, please bear with me. I'm new to this.

I did have a bit of a blog on www.blogger.com, but it was really only some snippets that my son, Jude, had said/done so that the grandparents could feel they were still part of his life after we moved away. I was inspired by my new found friend here in Philly, Beth. (You can check out her great blog at www.totalmomhaircut.com). She nudged me to blog and I finally decided I should.

So, after hours awake at night, obsessively attempting to come up with the perfect blog title, and after several growls at my husband as he flippantly dismissed every idea I shared with him, I found my blog title! Project: Motherhood. It just hit me somehow. And it wasn't taken!

I'm not a huge Project: Runway fan, but I have seen most of the seasons and do love it. And, maybe it's cheesy, but I really like having a sort of theme to use for the whole site, that a lot of people are going to identify with. At least, I think they will. I hope so! I can't be the only mom up at 10 pm, telling the TV which dress I would never be caught dead wearing, as I slurp up chocolate ice cream from the carton. Right?

But, no, this site has nothing to do with fashion. Thank God for that. Fashion is something I have not managed to carry over from my single life to my married, maternal one. I don't even know how my closet got so filled with disgusting items, but if I can get it on without popping a button and if it's not falling down so much that I'll trip on it, it's a contender these days.

No, this site is just another mommy blog. I'll share my challenges, failures, successes, and breakdowns for your reading enjoyment. I hope someone will get something out of this, but most importantly, I need this. I need to do something that requires that dead part of my brain that was used all the time in my younger days. That creative, fun center that does not only know how to change diapers and make grilled cheese sandwiches. I seriously need to dust that little bugger off and get it pumping again.

And perhaps if my daily annoyances are written down, the life lessons I need to learn will magically appear from underneath the typed words. Here's to hoping! So, please, read, enjoy, and let me know I'm not alone in this!

Project Motherhood coming to a browser near you

2008-03-31T13:18:00.000-07:00

Soon, you'll see the first official posts of my new blog, www.ProjectMotherhood.com. For now, you can use the BlogSpot address, but it'll switch over to ProjectMotherhood.com in a day or so.